Have you noticed how easily offended our society has become? It’s embarrassing really. Seemingly overnight we’ve become an over-sensitive, finger pointing society who whines about everything. We’ve lost the ability to turn the other cheek and instead feel the need to personally right every perceived wrong committed against us. I can’t throw many stones since I’m offended by how easily everyone else is offended. Oh, the irony!
But what would happen if I gave up my right to be offended? What would happen if everyone gave up their right to be offended? It didn’t take long before I was able to put this newfound idea into practice when someone, you guessed it, offended me. Everything within me wanted to lash out and vindicate myself, but then I remembered… “give up your right to be offended.” This was hard!
In an industry that mostly consists of women you can imagine how many times I’ve been offended before I gave up that right. I was in a technical director position in a Cardiovascular practice and I poured my heart,soul, blood,sweat and tears into starting these two echo vascular labs from ground up. The practice administrator ( whom we will call Alex as in Fatal Attraction, you will see this name again in my book) was not very nice to me at all. We had started interviewing sonographers for the second location and she kept saying no to all of them because ” they all were asking for too much money” go figure.
Finally, she decided on a lady who was really sweet and we had a mutual friend that I had worked with at a prior office. About a week later I asked Alex when our new person would be starting. She had stated that the candidate was no longer interested in the position because of pay and accused me of calling this person up and talking to her about pay and that I would no longer be involved in the hiring process. I was very offended since at this point I needed the help not to mention professionally i would never do that.
Needless to say i was not at this job much longer because of this manager. At first I couldn’t understand why she had to be this way and not to just me, but then I realized its a female domination theory. We do this to each other in a let me tear you down and put you in your place kind of way. Anything that will dim your light and make you not as confident and anything that makes you second guess yourself.
To take it one step further, I am well first off Italian, but more importantly I have learned to be confident in myself with the frame of mind that I am always trying to be a better person the next day then I was the day before. That being said I am tough, honest,strong, passionate, I speak with authority and I don’t bow down to people. All the qualities a successful business woman should have,right? However for all those reasons that puts a target on your back.
But if Men have all these qualities that makes him a go getter, someone who’ really dependable, executive material, someone you want on the team.
Woman do this to each other because they are jealous, when men cut each other down or get in an argument an hour later they are in the bar together having some beers laughing it off.
Not women, we are not helping each other by cutting each other down, as woman we naturally have some insecurities, there’s always pressure on us, add husbands and children to the mix and the stress can be overwhelming.
What if we could turn it around? So the next time you find yourself pointing your finger and rolling your eyes at a coworker who got a promotion and you didn’t or your arguing a point because you want your way about something, try being honest and saying ” You know what I didn’t get that job I really wanted or I didn’t get my way but she did cudo’s to her, how can I learn from that, how can I be better so next time I will get that job or get my way.”
Evaluating yourself instead of pointing your fingers rolling your eyes say ” I can’t believe she got her way she’s going to screw up royally.”
That’s not solving anything. That’s where it starts and if you can practice that and others see you being like that, they may be haters at first but eventaully they are going to say ” You know what I’m a little jealous of her, because what she has is a whole lot of fabulous and I want a little bit of it!“
Well said !!
Thank you Vern very kind of you to say!
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