Romance or Reality In The Workplace

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If any of you have fell prey on a dreaded office romance then you would agree with me that it’s a huge no no. A failed workplace romance can not only hurt your reputation but your career as well.  You can’t control where you find love, but when romantic sparks fly on the job, you have to pause and think carefully on how you want to proceed.

The break-up of a relationship is bad enough, without the added complication of having to see the person, if not everyday at least in work situations that require the remaining of professionalism. At the risk of your well being, job performance and professional identity, potentially damaging the dynamics of your team, and breaching company policies.

In many break-up scenarios that play out in the workplace, the challenge for the two employees is how to control their emotions at work. Psychologists’ who have done studies on this particular topic have uncovered that in most of the cases the relationships were hidden from colleagues, so the two employees felt the need to control their emotions at work, partly to protect their professional reputations and partly to protect their personal reputations, particularly when the relationships were extra marital.

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A relationship break-up can also have a detrimental effect on work performance, whether or not the former partners work together. A break-up can lead to a decrease in motivation and an inability to concentrate, due to the grieving process.

It’s usually the man who can compartmentalize and continue to perform well, retaining a strong sense of work self esteem and professional identity seemed to protect them against some of the negative impact of the relationship fall out, partly because their professional pride was intact. And because, well let’s face it,  if it was a short lived relationship chances are everything they said to you to pull you in close was a flat out lie.

It’s wise to understand your rights and obligations before you choose to pursue a personal relationship at work. Being educated can go a long way towards helping you to stay on the right side of your organization’s policies and the law. You just never know when push comes to shove the only person looking out for you in this situation is you. If things end on difficult terms the scorned one can sure make your work life a living hell, especially if that person is in an authoritative position.

I’m not saying that work romances can’t work out for the best, I have come across a few stories that evolved into happy endings however at one point or another it was known that one of  the partners either gave up their job to continue the romance or moved to a different department in the facility after it got more serious in order to save the romance and the couple from potential destruction.

My advice is make sure that you’re both in the relationship for the right reasons, not just because you’re finding refuge and comfort from the day-to-day work grind.


“Darn Those Registry Exams!”


This is a sore topic for many of us. We all have our own stories on this sore subject so I’ll be vulnerable and share ONE of mine.

Years ago,  I went in to go take one of my exams, I believe it may have been my second time, I was feeling so good, prepared. I sit in my car in the parking lot and do my ritual before I go in, I take a few moments to breathe and pray. I work up the courage to go in and walk up to the desk only to get turned away. My license spelled out my entire middle name and my bank card only had the first initial of my middle name. This was back when you had to show two forms of ID, Needless to say I left in tears and called my husband crying. Being the protector he is, he called ARDMS, Of course not being a Sonographer I have no idea what he said or if he even knew what he was talking about, he just knew how hard I had worked to get to that point. It didn’t change anything of course and I knew it wouldn’t, but it was great he wanted to fix my pain.  I think about this time and other various stories I have heard when I see people posting their test results online.  I worry about the people who have had experiences where they have not passed after third or fourth time in which this can be for many different reasons as we know it. For instance,  I know that I’m a terrible test taker, and my girlfriend gets severe test anxiety, another friend of mine complained that there were so many questions on one area of testing that he failed to spend equal amount of time on that area as he did all the others.


Another reason I opinionize about this theory is because recently I came across a Sonographer who has been doing Cardiac sonography for four years, she took and passed her RVT exam on her first try.  However to much of my surprise she never once performed a vascular exam. I’m not sure how that works when asked to perform an exam that you are registered in but I would not want to have to explain that.

I recently went on the ARDMS Global Exam Summary Report and saw that as of 2017 the pass rate for first time takers is in the high 70’s but the overall pass rate is mid 60’s to low 70’s. Although there is no way to determine the status of these test takers, one of our complaints as sonographers’ is how student sonographer’s need to get registered before even getting hired and  working as a paid sonographer.  This goes back to us veteran sonographer’s who say anyone can pass the exam but that doesn’t necessarily make them a proficient scanner.

We work so hard to prepare and pass these exams it’s understandable we want to shout to the world that we passed however maybe it’s best to keep fellow Sonographer’s feelings in mind and shout to our inner circle instead. We know in our field this is a rewarding accomplishment one that shouldn’t be undermined or taken lightly. Regardless to all my fellow Sonographer’s…Congratulations!


Those that know, Do. Those that understand, Teach. ~Aristotle

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My last blog was for students, but today I want to talk about Sonographer’s who teach these students or who train the new Sonographer’s to work with them in their facility.  I’ve seen this go both ways, I’ve seen students who fail or don’t learn as much because they are stuck in a facility or with Sonographers who lack  confidence and/or  the patience to teach students, or maybe the Sonographers who are not happy in their jobs find it difficult to teach/train with passion.  I’ve seen new sonographer’s  get set up for failure because of the lack of training they have received.

There are Sonographer’s out there who are unfortunately skeptical to train because they have a preconceived notion that they are training their replacement.  This too is a form of self confidence, but what if you looked at it in a more positive way.  What if you looked at it as showing this student everything you know because A, you learn as you teach,  B, you look good in the end, and C, you now have someone who considers you a mentor for life.  For instance take my friend Madge, whom I mentioned in my “Calling All Sonography Students” blog.  I had about five other Sonographers’ to follow and learn from at the hospital I did my clinical rotation at.  Madge was the one I prefer to write about, as she is the one I chose to follow the most.  She taught me everything I needed to know to be able to graduate( with honors) and to be able to land a job at her facility  working and paid as a student Sonographer, which ultimately led to a full time position there.  Thanks to Madge I was able to start my career on solid ground.


You know the saying “See one, do one, teach one”?  This is the best rule of thumb for helping others to learn.  First, show them how it’s done, Then, assign them a task so they can do it themselves, Lastly, put them in a position to teach another person.

My point is if you look at teaching or training in a different perspective for yourself you never know where it can lead or how it truly affects the person you are training, not to mention the  morals you take away from it.  We often do things that require us to go above and beyond and then we get disappointed when we are not compensated or get anything in return for our efforts.  However, if we can learn to do things without expecting anything in return then we would never be disappointed.


Calling all Sonography Students


Do you remember the exact moment you decided you wanted to go to school for Sonography?  I do, I remember that day well.  I was working in the laboratory at Tampa General Hospital processing patient specimens. One of the specimens I received was a bag of feces, the reason this stands out is  that the cap had come off the container in the bag.  Well after gagging I said to myself “there has got to be a life better than this.” I started doing some research, and on my lunch hours I would walk around the hospital and take notes  on what areas interested me.  After work I would go to the hospital gym to work out and one afternoon when I walked into the gym and there was an intriguing young lady walking on the treadmill.   For book purposes we will call her Madge.  As we began to talk I asked her what department she worked in and she said proudly ” I work in the ultrasound department.”  Ten months later I was proudly following Madge all over the ultrasound department.
For starters I filled gel bottles, got her patients in the room for her, explained the exam to the patient, put a towel down and dimmed the lights. All Madge had to do was come in introduce to herself to the patient, scan while I observed and leave. After, I cleaned up everything  gently wiped the patient off and made sure they got back to their room. Yes, when I was in general I Always wiped off my patients when I was finished.  It’s just a common courtesy thing to do.
About two years ago I was filling in at a hospital who accepted students, since I had worked in outpatient offices mostly it had been awhile since I had been around students.  Now I’m not talking about every student out there and I am not coming down on you, remember we are all in this together to learn and grow. But I have to say how shocked I was by how little students did around the department to help and grow from this opportunity they are given.  Sitting around while people clean around you, ignoring an over flowing linen bag, surfing the web, looking down on their phone constantly or thinking it would be a good time to work on a resume’.
I actually had a student say to me ” I don’t know if this is what I want to do, I’m just doing it for now because I heard the program was fast and easy.” I had to get up and walk away from her.  With so many coming out of schools today I have to wonder how many actually take this career serious and for that matter do they truly understand the difference between a job and a career?   The biggest difference between a job and career is that a job is what you work at in order to make money, while a career is working towards your goals and dreams, following that purpose and moving ahead in your journey. Our dreams and our goals are what we have to work towards if we want to feel like our lives haven’t been wasted. They are our purpose in life, accomplishing them will make us feel that we succeeded, or have what it takes to succeed.
You never know when someone is watching you, taking notes and who they are telling. I always say imagine a camera recording your every move, now unless your on some raunchy reality show you want to look good for the camera don’t you?  Students should be viewed as enthusiastic, motivated, proactive, confident, knowledgeable and genuine when interacting with patients. They should not let exam pressure interfere with their performance.  A good student helps around the department freeing up time for the Sonographer’s who are teaching you, enabling them to catch up on paper work or maybe just taking a breather.  Remember they were a student once too so they too have done their time. Now before you go on and say to yourself, that’s not my job, or i’m not getting paid to do clinical’s lets talk about a little thing called humility.  Knowing that it takes walking in the foot steps of the veteran Sonographer’s  in order to get to where they are. Taking pride in your work and paying attention to detail.  Being humble is knowing that even though this may not be part of your job as a student, it’s realizing that it’s the beginning of your journey of your career and as long as your committed to this you will make progress and you will create change.

“No Offense”

    Have you noticed how easily offended our society has become? It’s embarrassing really. Seemingly overnight we’ve become an over-sensitive, finger pointing society who whines about everything.  We’ve lost the ability to turn the other cheek and instead feel the need to personally right every perceived wrong committed against us. I can’t throw many stones since I’m offended by how easily everyone else is offended. Oh, the irony!
    But what would happen if I gave up my right to be offended? What would happen if everyone gave up their right to be offended? It didn’t take long before I was able to put this newfound idea into practice when someone, you guessed it, offended me.  Everything within me wanted to lash out and vindicate myself, but then I remembered… “give up your right to be offended.” This was hard!
    In an industry that mostly consists of women you can imagine how many times I’ve been offended before I gave up that right.  I was in a technical director position in a Cardiovascular practice and I poured my heart,soul, blood,sweat and tears into starting these two echo vascular labs from ground up. The practice administrator ( whom we will call Alex as in Fatal Attraction, you will see this name again in my book)  was not very nice to me at all. We had started interviewing sonographers for the second location and she kept saying no to all of them because ” they all were asking for too much money” go figure.
Finally, she decided on a lady who was really sweet and we had a mutual friend that I had worked with at a prior office. About a week later I asked Alex when our new person would be starting. She had stated that the candidate was no longer interested in the position because of pay and accused me of calling this person up and talking to her about pay and that I would no longer be involved in the hiring process. I was very offended since at this point I needed the help not to mention professionally i would never do that.
    Needless to say i was not at this job much longer because of this manager. At first I couldn’t understand why she had to be this way and not to just me, but then I realized its a female domination theory. We do this to each other in a let me tear you down and put you in your place kind of way. Anything that will dim your light and make you not as confident and anything that makes you second guess yourself.
To take it one step further, I am well first off Italian, but more importantly I have learned to be confident in myself with the frame of mind that I am always trying to be a better person the next day then I was the day before. That being said I am tough, honest,strong, passionate, I speak with authority and I don’t bow down to people. All  the qualities a successful business woman should have,right? However for all those reasons that puts a target on your back.
    But if Men have all these qualities that makes him a go getter, someone who’ really dependable, executive material, someone you want on the team.
    Woman do this to each other because they are jealous, when men cut each other down or get in an argument an hour later they are in the bar together having some beers laughing it off.
    Not women, we are not helping each other by cutting each other down, as woman we naturally have some insecurities, there’s always pressure on us, add husbands and children to the mix and the stress can be overwhelming.
    What if we could turn it around? So the next time you find yourself pointing your finger and rolling your eyes at a coworker who got a promotion and you didn’t or your arguing a point because you want your way about something, try being honest and saying ” You know what I didn’t get that job I really wanted or I didn’t get my way but she did cudo’s to her, how can I learn from that, how can I be better so next time I will get that job or get my way.”
    Evaluating yourself instead of pointing your fingers rolling your eyes say ” I can’t  believe she got her way she’s going to screw up royally.”
    That’s not solving anything. That’s where it starts and if you can practice that and others see you being like that, they may be haters at first but eventaully they are going to say ” You know what I’m a little jealous of her, because what she has is a whole lot of fabulous and I want a little bit of it!

Why I am here for You

Hi, My name is Stacy. I’ve been a Sonographer now for a decade and a half and I have that many years of notes that I recently started putting together to form a book. Although saving lives is very important and taking pride in that is just as important, what happens in between doing that is what’s never discussed. What happens when you don’t have the confidence? Or when you deal with every day struggles on the job that causes stress, which can lead to so many different outcomes as a Sonographer. Maybe you made a mistake and got written up or fired? Maybe you’re being bullied by someone and your just going through your workflow to get through the day. Here is your safe place. To talk about all the things we don’t, or can’t because no one is listening or doing anything about it. Here is where you can learn how to professionally deal with those work struggles whether it’s a coworker or a manager you struggle with or your scanning in pain or maybe your at a crossroads in your career and you just can’t decide which way to go. Why here? Because trust me when I say I’ve been through it ALL. My book talks about a few of these topics and so much more and this is the place we can talk about it together. So come on, join me, I’m happy to have you here.